Finding Our Happily Ever After

This month Bill and I celebrate 20 years of marriage.

I can hardly believe we are old enough to have been married 20 years…but alas…here we are.

Things I’ve learned in 20 years of marriage

I am thankful for the 20 years.  I’ve learned a lot…like that Bill snores and sometimes so loudly it wakes the kids, that he loves a clean house but doesn’t love to get his hands dirty making it so, that he can’t visit Costco without buying more items than were on the list, that he has a weakness for a good steak, that he will always be a fan of Def Leopard and has always wished he could sing really well and be part of a rock band or a men’s quartet.

Oops, I’m being too specific here…I mean I learned a thing or two about ‘Happily Ever After’

Happily Ever After

Some think marriage is eternal bliss…a walk in the park, others think marriage is something to endure…a ball and chain…and others think it’s somewhere in between.

Every marriage is different but I think it’s safe to say every marriage includes good years and tough years, fun times and hard times, frustrating moments and joy filled moments and so on.  During the good and great moments we see marriage lasting a life time but during the tough moments we want out because the grass looks greener on the other side.

If we consider our wedding day as the beginning of our ‘Happily Ever After’ we made some promises that day before God and everyone.  We mostly wrote our own vows but there were a few traditional lines that we included and they have helped us in navigating our marriage through all the ups and downs we have encountered along the way.

For Better or For Worse, For Richer or For Poorer, In Sickness & In Health, Til Death Do Us Part, As Long as We Both Shall Live

Yup, for better or for worse and so on…we both agreed we would stay committed during the good times but also when we drove each other crazy or couldn’t stand one another.

And we have had our tough times.  Years when Bill’s work had him travelling lots or when all his focus and energy was poured into work and he would come home with nothing left to give us.  Years with plenty and years with less, when things looked bleak.  Sleep deprived years when I was all consumed with growing babies, raising children, and losing myself in the process. We have had health scares, injuries and conditions that went undiagnosed that really took a toll on us. We have faced tragedies and heartbreak, experienced loss and pain.

But here we are, 20 years later.

Our Imperfect Happily Ever After

So this commitment of marriage…I’m not saying it’s easy and I’m not saying it’s always ‘happy’.

Our marriage is not perfect but it is my imperfect ‘happily ever after’.  It’s through the trails and struggles that we learn and grow and that our relationship is strengthened.  We don’t let our struggles destroy us or define us we let them refine us.

It’s not been a perfect fairy tale 20 years but it’s been perfect for us…and here is hoping for 20 more years of my imperfect happily ever after…and 20 more after that too…and so on!

Our marriage is no fairy tale, but it’s an adventure and I’m enjoying the ride and can’t wait to see where the story takes us.

Happy Anniversary to Us!